The concept of “social fitness” is gaining traction as research increasingly shows that our social connections are vital to both physical and mental wellbeing. Dr Gillian Sandstrom, a senior lecturer in the psychology of kindness at the University of Sussex, has spent her career exploring the impact of everyday interactions with strangers. Once shy herself, she now champions the benefits of small social exchanges, such as chatting with a barista or fellow concertgoer, which have been shown to boost mood and foster a sense of belonging.
The idea of social fitness, popularised by Professor Robert Waldinger of Harvard Medical School, draws a parallel with physical fitness: just as we must actively maintain our bodies, so too must we nurture our relationships. Neglected connections can wither, but those who invest time and effort into social ties tend to enjoy better health and longer lives. One study even found that the quality of a person’s relationships is a stronger predictor of early death than obesity or inactivity, and on par with smoking and alcohol use.
Social ties don’t need to be deep or time-consuming to matter. “Weak ties”—such as regular interactions with neighbours or shop staff—can significantly enhance wellbeing. Group-based connections, like joining a running club or volunteering in a community garden, have also been shown to reduce depression and protect against relapse.
However, loneliness remains a widespread issue. Seven per cent of adults in the UK report having no close friends, and 18-24-year-olds are the most affected age group. Psychologists like Dr Marisa G Franco argue that loneliness induces a chronic stress state, akin to being in constant fight-or-flight mode. She and others recommend deliberate efforts to reconnect with old friends or join regular group activities to build new ties.
Digital technology can help maintain relationships, but passive scrolling can create an illusion of connection without the real benefits. Intentional use—such as messaging friends or joining online communities—can be beneficial.
Practical tips for improving social fitness include initiating small conversations, particularly in shared spaces like cafés or queues. Sandstrom advises starting with safe topics like the weather or asking a question out of curiosity. Most people respond more positively than we expect, and even brief exchanges can brighten someone’s day.
Ultimately, investing in social fitness isn’t just good for us—it’s an act of kindness that can uplift others in the process.
